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Exemplar: One of This Year’s Top Controlled Assessments – Annotated

With the examinations fast approaching, it is worth reviewing what makes a piece of analytical writing in English excellent. What better way to do this than to review what people are doing in class. To this end this site will be playing host to a range of pieces of excellent work by students from our class in order that you can learn from each other (and perhaps from my marking, too)

Here’s Gabriel’s excellent Spoken Language Study Controlled Assessment:

Final Practice Piece: Get Clever

This weekend you have been set the task of expanding on some developed conclusions that have come from our class work on the Spoken Language topic. This will be your final chance to get my feedback on your practice work and I have made a clear demand of 100% completion.

Notwithstanding this, please try to use this as an opportunity to follow your own interest in this language project. Choose the area that most interests you and try to make your analysis true to your own sense for how this language works.

Next week, in the remaining periods we will:

  1. Explore some possible structures for your Controlled Assessment answer
  2. Practice annotating the finalised transcripts
  3. Write your assessment note sheet
  4. Read the exemplars
Here’s the weekend’s work:

Similarities and Differences: Finish for homework

Now that we have examined transcripts of both spoken and multi-modal (Instant Messaging-based) conversations we are able to draw some conclusions about the similarities and differences between these. As the transcripts are both largely of informal, spontaneous communication, they do have many features in common, however there are still features of language that are inherently characteristic of each mode (spoken and written) that distinguish them.

This day’s task (to be finished for homework) is to begin to analyse these similarities and differences.

Spoken Language Conversation B: Chris and Jack

CLICK HERE: for the audio of this conversation.

J: We will beat you
C: No you won’t, you can’t beat anyone
J: Your team, well ok, in a fist-fight, Arsenal would batter you
C: [Laughs] In a fist fight?
J: Yes
C: But this is football.
J: Yeah, but in a fist fight our team..
C: not at all
J: Sagna’s a beast, Sagna would knock a man out
C: But we got Lukaku, Lukaku  would batter all you guys.. at once.
J: No he wouldn’t
C: Yes he would have you seen him?
J: Have you seen Sagna?
C: But Sagna’s Sagna’s like… how tall is he?
J: Sagna’s… he’s about… bit smaller maybe my height
C: See that’s what I’m saying / Lukaku is about 6 – 4
J: What about Vermaelen?
C: Terry, Terry would have Vermaelen
J: [Gasp!]
C: Every day of the week [laughs]
J: Oh my days you are a gas man Terry is moist, he is wet/
C: [interrupts]Yeah but Vermaelen’s always injured anyway so he wouldn’t be able to fight
J: [interrupts] Yeah yeah but but Vermaelen would still duff yeh
C: No he wouldn’t
J: No he wouldn’t no? Ok.
C: I reckon Mikel would batter Vermaelen… easily
J: No way
C: Yesss
J: No way
C: Vermaelen… Vermaelen would get battered…
J: Vermaelen is hard he’s a hard guy
C: Mikel’s just one of those tank guys, he’s just a fat beast
J: Yeah but I saw Sagna, I saw Sagna stick it to Kompany and Kompany is a massive guy
C: Yeah but
J: He stuck it to him – I was there at the match – he stuck it, honest
C: Yeah but like I’m saying, Lukaku he’s just a tank, no-one no-one can beat him up
J: Alright, Ok, k, he probably would innit bruv, but at the end of the day, I know deep down that give it two seasons, two seasons max, Arsenal will be better than you.

Write and present your analysis (finish for homework)

On Wednesday each student will present their analysis of their own transcribed instant messaging discourse. The thinking is guided by the attached task, but the propositions are the students’ own.